Is Someone LABELING Your Child Or Your Parenting Yet Again?
After reading a million articles about parenting, I have come to a conclusion that there is no such thing as good or bad parenting. We all remember the picture of a woman who had kept her new born on the floor while she fiddled with her phone on an airport. We made all the assumptions we could and we concluded that she was the worst parent a child could ever have. Comments like “How could she do it to her baby?” “If she was not ready to be a mother, she could have aborted the child, why bring him into the world and insult his presence?” were common. The entire time I was thinking why this woman must have done, what she did. She had carefully placed a cloth on a carpeted floor to make her child lie down for a while. and she was looking at her phone while her picture got clicked. She could have been the most caring parent but we started labeling her without knowing her story.
Yes, We Labeled her as careless, not deserving to be a mother and what not. Why?
I take my child to play in the garden everyday. I meet all kinds of mothers and all kinds of children. I see beauty in the thing that no two children are similar to each other but others take this as a topic to gossip. If a child is not speaking till he is two, what a shame he is. A little girl not walking till she is 18 months, is anything wrong with her bones? A mother took admission in nursery for her daughter when she was 2.5 years old. People around her labeled her like she is the one trying to get rid of her child. Really? Who are you to judge?
There is one thing I want to ask of all the people labeling children or their parents all the time,” Is it your business?” If not then mind yours and leave the others alone.
Being a parent is tough and there are many tough decisions a parent takes in his or her journey. No one has the right to meddle. BUT I want to ask one question to the parents too. Why are you getting affected? Why are you giving someone else the right to make you feel sad or happy about the decisions you are making for your child or how your child simply is? Why do you need someone else’s validation? (ALSO READ: 5 Lessons I would Like My Daughter To Learn)
Haven’t you heard the story of an elephant and a pig? You haven’t? Okay, here it goes.
Once upon a time there was an elephant. He took a bath in the river and was going towards his home. On his way he saw a pig coming towards the river. The pig was dirty, there was mud all over him. The elephant was clean, he just had a bath. In order to avoid getting dirty in the mud again, the elephant decided that he would get to the side of the road and let the pig pass first.
On reached his pack the pig started boasting about his glory. He told his friends how the elephant was scared of him and how he got to the side and let him go first. The news reached the other elephants as well. Now this elephant had a little son. His son went over to him and asked, “Dad were you really scared of the pig today?” The elephant smiled and told his son the most important lesson of life.
He said,” I was not scared son, I gave him way to pass because I wanted to avoid getting dirty. I could have crushed the pig under my feet but I didn’t do so. I know which battles to pick in life. Not everything demands your attention. You need to choose which things are important enough to invest your time on and which ones are the ones you should let go of.
This is a lesson for all those parents who get disheartened after listening to the judgement of others. Let them be and let them judge. They will use their limited perception to judge you and it is no where near to what you truly are or your child is. Don’t fight them and ask them to stop saying nasty things about you or your child, It’s not a battle you should fight.
And when your child will grow up and see you behaving like the wise elephant in the story, imagine how deeply inspired he would be to be like you.